company policies

we at funny co. really really care about our employees a lot, because they're the gullible fools that help our lovely all-seeing boss maintain his supply of money.

this means that we have many policies in place to ensure none of them fall out of line.

• all employees must clock out before breaking mentally/considering suicide. we aren't paying you to mope around.
• any fired, laid off, or otherwise leaving employees will be terminated to prevent any information on the funny burger's ingredients from being put in the eye of the public.
• you will be terminated if it is found that you have been spreading insider-knowledge to the public/media.
• any theft of company property, whether it be monetary or material, will result in termination.